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“星爱苑”:有人还记得

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发表于 2017-5-15 11:06:05 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
亲爱的读者朋友们:你们好!
     理查德.波曼先生是美国全国失亲组织刊物《同行之旅》的前任编辑,也是“星爱苑”编者的朋友。本编者在此向理查德.波曼先生对“星爱苑”所给予的帮助致以崇高的敬意!
“星爱苑”编辑
2017.1.6
有人还记得
作者:理查德.波曼
翻译:张彦  校对:施丽虹
“同行之旅”2014年秋季期,总第19卷第4
我的姐姐和姐夫都是退休的大学老师,从学校退休后就一直周游世界。他们喜欢买些奇奇怪怪的东西当礼物寄给家人和朋友。其中一个习惯是,每到一个地方,就阅读当地的报纸而获知那个地方的居民对一些事情的看法。
最近我姐姐寄给我一个裁剪下来的一个小镇报纸上刊登的失去孩子的父亲们如何过父亲节的报道。这个文章非常好。报道者采访了好几个失亲的父亲们,并且通篇引用了很多他们的原话。读毕,这篇文章里讲到的对我而言没有新的观点。但是,文章勾起了我对失去儿子布兰德最初的几个月和几年的回忆。
这个报道的内容对我并无很大的意义。有意义的是,尽管过了这么多年,我的姐姐依旧记得他逝去的侄子,还记得我,他的弟弟,会永远有深深的丧子之痛。而这张剪报,比其他任何来自异地的礼物更有意义。现在已经很少有人提及布兰德的名字。我其他的兄弟姐妹也很难跨越那道沉默的鸿沟。甚至我的其他孩子们也不知如何来谈布兰德的离世。所以当我读着姐姐寄来的这个礼物时,泪水不禁流了下来。这不是悲伤的泪水,而是感激的泪水,感激过了这么多年之后,有人还依旧记得布兰德,记得我的失去他的伤痛。
谢谢你,姐姐。
注:此文选自美国失亲父母组织(Bereaved Parents of the U.S.A)期刊,刊名“同行之旅”(A Journey Together
生命的挂毯
作者:理查德.波曼(期刊编辑)
翻译:张彦  校对:施丽虹
“同行之旅”2015年冬季刊,总第20卷第1
我家过感恩节常常是非常热闹的。我有四个兄弟姐妹,加上他们的家人,许多表兄弟姐妹,姨妈姑妈,还有许多因各种原因不能回家过节的朋友,都会到我家一起庆祝这个重大的节日。这么多的人,这么多喧闹,快乐,但我却会感到一点点的孤独。你也许会问我怎么可能会感到孤独呢,有这么多人在关心我,理解我内心深处的丧子之痛。有时,越是在这么多的欢声笑语中,孤独的感觉越是强烈。
我记得有一年,我们家里来了特别多从外地赶来过感恩节的亲朋好友。有一个表姐说道,“看,我们这家人终于都到全了”。我知道她并不会有意伤害我,而且她说的也对。但是,当她说到“全”时,我却听到了“洞”(这两个词在英文中同音)。不管有多少亲朋好友围绕在我身边,对我来说,这个家永远有个“洞”在那里,我的心里也永远有个“洞”。就像刚刚粉刷过而遗留下的屋内的一个角落,这一片空间往往会凸显的那么耀眼。
我儿子布拉德过世后的很多年,我都一直没有办法享受生活的美好。即便当我知道有那么多人在耐心的等着我回到生活原来的轨迹上去。就像一个遭遇过事故的受害者要重新学会走路,我也要重新学会感激我的这个大家庭。我现在已经可以跟孩子们一起玩耍,逗那些新加入到这个家庭的小生命,听到笑话也会开怀大笑,有的时候自己也会讲给别人听,吃很多,喝很多,享受和这些我爱了多年的人在一起的美好时刻。
当我回望我生命的挂毯,我看到它的富丽堂皇时,我的眼光终会停留在上面的那个“洞”---- 那个因为我儿子离世而遗留下的不可弥补的“洞”。时光荏苒,这个生命的挂毯在逐渐扩大,有的人结婚,有的人生孩子,有新朋友加入进来,但是这个“洞”依旧存在。跟这个大大的挂毯相比,这个“洞”当然是小了好多,但是,它依旧存在。这也成就了我生命的挂毯之不同。也许,我的生命挂毯本来就是这样子。
注:此文选自美国失亲父母组织(Bereaved Parents of the U.S.A)期刊,刊名“同行之旅”(A Journey Together



我想要你们知道
尊敬的凯瑟琳女士,尊敬的美国失亲组织全体理事,你们好!
我想告诉你们,我的名字叫王浩,是七年前失去了唯一爱女的中国上海市的一名父亲,我如同天底下所有失去孩子的父母一样,经历了失去爱女后的极其艰难的所有情感体验。
我想要告诉你们,在上海市,还有很多很多像我一样由于各种原因失去了唯一孩子的家庭。这些失去孩子的父母非常需要得到精神上的安慰。
我想要告诉你们,在上海市和中国其他地区,社会各界也在尝试许多办法去安慰这些极度受伤的心灵。
我想要告诉你们,今年的76日,在上海市诞生了一家专门服务于上海市和中国其他地区失去孩子父母的名为“星爱苑”的电子刊物。“星”代表失去的孩子像天空中闪闪发亮的星星,美丽而永不消失;“爱”代表亲人对孩子永不消失的爱;“苑”代表失去的孩子居住的美丽的地方。该刊物由我个人注册并担任编辑。
我想要告诉你们,“星爱苑”电子刊物的成立,离不开你们所拥有的刊物“同行之旅”的启发。
我想要告诉你们,“星爱苑”电子刊物的成立,得到了在贵国俄亥俄州凯斯西储大学人类学系任助理教授的华人学者施丽虹博士所给予的极其宝贵的支持。她搭建了贵组织和上海市失去孩子父母之间联系的桥梁,她的美丽、善良、同情心、社会责任感受到了上海市失去孩子父母的高度评价。她是全体华人的骄傲。
我想要告诉你们,经过施丽虹博士的穿针引线,我和贵刊物的前任编辑理查德先生建立了通信联系。理查德先生在写给我的信中所表达的对上海市失去孩子父母的理解、同情和关爱之心,他的善良令我深受感动;他的睿智,他渊博的学识,他的丰富的写作和编辑经验,他给予我的很多宝贵建议令我受益匪浅。我代表“星爱苑”及全体阅读者向理查德先生致以崇高的敬意和衷心的感谢!
我想要告诉你们,今年的726日,贵组织董事会100%同意“星爱苑”同意使用你们组织宣言里的一些话,同意分享贵组织《同行之旅》上的文章,这给予了“星爱苑”极其宝贵的支持。你们这宝贵的支持定将永存所有阅读贵刊文章的中国失去孩子的父母的心中,你们的慷慨无私也必将永载中美两国人民友爱的史册!
我想要告诉你们,凯瑟琳女士对上海市失去孩子父母的亲切问候已经流进了很多失去孩子父母的心田。我们对凯瑟琳女士所说的下面的话深表赞同:美国失亲者的心和中国失亲者的心是连在一起的,是可以跨越距离、地域、种族、国界和文化的障碍的。
我想要告诉你们,迄今为止,“星爱苑”上除了中方的9篇文章外,转载了贵方以下文章:《美国失亲组织宣言》,《 帮助失亲父母心理自愈的实用建议》,《美国失亲组织及活动简介》,《美国失亲组织刊物“同行之旅》创刊号致辞》,《爱瓦特为作者的编辑寄语》,《我多么期望人们能理解失去孩子的感受》,《英雄》,《你知道他们是失亲的父母吗》,《去不去度假》,《当我们面对失去孩子后的愧疚时》、《找到奇迹》。今后,“星爱苑”还将荣幸而充满感激地陆续转载《同行之旅》的每一篇文章并分享作者们的故事。
我想要告诉你们,贵方这些由失亲父母所写的文章表达了作者各自漫长而艰难的失亲的心路历程;表达了作者的恐惧,迷惑,愤怒,愧疚,挫折,以及无望;表达了作者为了找到生活的希望的强烈追求;表达了作者用行动所展示生存的可能;表达了作者纪念孩子的生命经历,分享其中的快乐、成功,以及对他们永不消逝的爱。上海市的和中国其他地区的失亲者读到了这些文章以后感同身受,阅读者们读后不仅仅是泪流满面和深深动容,阅读者们读后更获得了情感上的释放和莫大的心灵上的安慰。我要代表“星爱苑”的所有阅读者向贵方所有失亲作者们表达深深的谢意和敬意,请允许我通过这封信紧紧地握住这些坚强、伟大的失亲作者们的手,让我们紧紧地拥抱你们!我们对你们表达深深的感恩之心!
请允许我在此再一次向凯瑟琳女士,向贵组织董事会全体董事,向贵组织《同行之旅》所有的作者,向理查德先生和施丽虹博士表示崇高的的敬意和衷心的感谢!正如贵组织刊物《同行之旅》所表达的,让我们在心里和情感上跨越这浩瀚的太平洋,一路同行!
          向你们致以无比爱意和敬意的“星爱苑”注册人兼编辑    王浩
                                                  2016.11.28
IWant to Let You Know
Hello, RespectedMrs. Kathy Corrigan and Members of the Board of Directors of the BereavedParents of the U.S.A.:
I want to letyou know that my name is Hao Wang and I am a bereaved father in Shanghai,China, who lost my beloved only daughter. Like all bereaved parents in the world,I have experienced the extremely difficult emotional journey after losing mybeloved daughter.
I want to letyou know that in Shanghai there are many families like mine who lost their onlychild due to various causes. These bereaved parents are in great need ofemotional comfort.
I want to letyou know that in Shanghai and other regions in China, people from differentfields are trying various ways to help these deeply wounded hearts.
I want to letyou know that on July 6th of this year, a digital publication calledXingaiyuan was created to serve bereaved parents in Shanghai and other regionsin China. “Xing” (star) represents our lost children who are like the twinklingstars in night sky, beautiful and never disappearing; “Ai” (love) means our everlastinglove for our children; and “Yuan” (garden) symbolizes the beautiful place thatour children are living. I serve as the founder and editor of Xingaiyuan.
I want to letyou know that the creation of the digital publication Xingaiyuan was deeply inspiredby A Journey Together.
I want to letyou know that the founding of Xingaiyuan has received very precious supportfrom Dr. Lihong Shi, the Chinese scholar and assistant professor ofAnthropology from Case Western Reserve University in Ohio. She built a bridgebetween your organization and bereaved parents in Shanghai. Her kindness,compassion, and a sense of social responsibility have been highly regarded bybereaved parents in Shanghai. She is the pride of the Chinese people!
I want to letyou know that through the introduction of Dr. Lihong Shi, I have beencorresponding with the former editor of AJourney Together Mr. Richard Berman. I have been deeply touched by theunderstanding, compassion, and care from Mr. Berman to bereaved parents in Shanghai,expressed in his letters; and I have been greatly benefited from his wisewords, profound knowledge, rich experience of writing and editing, and valuableadvice. On behalf of Xingaiyuan and its readers, I would like to express mydeep respect and heartfelt gratitude to him.
I want to letyou know that, on July 26, the board of directors of the BP/USA 100% approvedthat Xingaiyuan could use some words from the credo of the BP/USA in its onlineprofile and share the essays from AJourney Together, which has been very precious support for Xingaiyuan. Itwill forever be cherished by all bereaved parents in China who are readers ofthe essays, and your generosity will be forever remembered as friendship andlove between the Americans and the Chinese!
I want to letyou know that the kind words from Mrs. Kathy Corrigan have been instilled intothe hearts of many bereaved parents in Shanghai. We deeply agree with Mrs.Corrigan’s words: The hearts of bereaved parents in the U.S. are bonded withthe bereaved parents in China. The bonds of grieving parents transcend miles,language barriers and cultural differences.
I want to letyou know that so far, in addition to nine articles from us, Xinghaiyuan hasshared the following essays from AJourney Together: the credo of the Bereaved Parents of the U.S.A.,Practical Advice: Helping Yourself Heal When Your Child Dies (Fall 2014), anintroduction on Bereaved Parents of the U.S.A., the first article on the firstissue of A Journey Together by thethen president Joe Rousseau and an essay by the then editor Betty Ewart (Fall1995), What I Wish More People Understood about Losing a Child (Fall 2015),Hero (Fall 2014), Do You Know They Were Bereaved Parents (Spring 2015), ToVocation or Not to Vocation (Summer 2014), Guilt, If Only…If Only…If Only(Spring 2008), The Myth of Perfect Parenthood (Fall 2006), and Finding Magic(Winter 2014). We will continue to post every essay from A Journey Together with honor and gratitude and share the storiesof the authors.
I want to letyou know that these essays by bereaved parents expressed thoughts and emotionsof the long and difficult grief journey; they expressed the authors’ fear,confusion, anger, guilt, frustration, and even hopelessness; they revealed theauthors’ perseverance in pursuit of hope in life; they showed the possibilityto move on with life demonstrated by the authors’ actions; and they revealedways in which the authors honored their children’s lives, shared the joy andsuccess in their children’s lives, and their everlasting love for theirchildren. After reading these essays, the readers from Shanghai and other partsof China shared similar thoughts and emotions. They not only shed tears andfelt deeply touched, but they were also able to release their emotions andreceive great comfort. On behalf of all the readers of Xingaiyuan, I would liketo express my deep gratitude and respect to all the authors. Please allow me tohold the hands of these authors who have great strength through this letter.Let us hold you tight to our hearts! We express to you hour heartfeltgratitude!
Please allow meto once again express my deep respect and profound gratitude to Mrs. KathyCorrigan, members of the board of directors, all contributors of A Journey Together, Mr. Richard Berman,and Dr. Lihong Shi! As has been expressed by A Journey Together, let us cross the vast Pacific Ocean with ourhearts and walk the journey together!
With great loveand respect,
Hao Wang
Founder andEditor of Xingaiyuan
2016.11.28




爱在失独者之家

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发表于 2017-5-16 15:16:56 | 显示全部楼层
表达了作者纪念孩子的生命经历,分享其中的快乐、成功,以及对他们永不消逝的爱。上海市的和中国其他地区的失亲者读到了这些文章以后感同身受,阅读者们读后不仅仅是泪流满面和深深动容,阅读者们读后更获得了情感上的释放和莫大的心灵上的安慰。
爱在失独者之家

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发表于 2017-5-16 15:21:41 | 显示全部楼层
”星爱苑“是失独者了解和倾述的地方。谢谢版主。
爱在失独者之家
 楼主| 发表于 2017-5-16 15:40:04 | 显示全部楼层
爱在失独者之家
 楼主| 发表于 2017-5-16 15:42:30 | 显示全部楼层
爱在失独者之家

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